April 2011
March 2011
inthelandof-finn asked: Who is your favorite adventure time character? Is it me?
4 tags
CAT PRAYER!
meekacat:
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep. I pray for toys that look like mice, And sofa cushions, soft and nice. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, And someone nice to scratch my back, For windowsills all warm and bright, For shadows to explore at night. I pray I’ll always stay real cool And keep the secret feline rule To NEVER tell a human that The world is really...
When in doubt, use the cat.
Mom: I signed up for Match.com
Me: How goes it?
Mom: Well I keep getting winked at
Me: That's good isn't it?
Mom: My main profile picture is with Lazlo, our cat.
Mom: I think their winking at him
Mom: Not me
Me: How do you know that?
Mom: Because the internet loves cats
Mom: Not almost 50 year old women.
Mom: You know how all women fall in love with a young father hanging out at a park or whatever in public by himself with his baby? It's probably not even his baby, maybe he borrowed it from his sister. Either way its a chick magnet right?
Me: Right
Mom: I think I just did that with the cat.
Mom: Cats are bro magnets.
Mom: Damn, a cat is going to get me a date.
Me: Welcome to internet dating.
The moment when someone is meowing in class, and...
KITTY COMANDMENTS! →
Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.
Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off of the roll.
Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor, as thou art not transparent.
Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party...
